I've Loved You All Along
by Foul Fountain of Flies
Summary: When he least expected it, a figure from Kisame’s past steps into his world once more. This time, not to make things right, but to put an end to them. Companion piece to Dancing on the Corpses’ Ashes. One shot.


**I've Loved You All Along**

Disclaimer: Naruto characters are BORROWED. I own exactly nothing; even the words are not mine, just the arrangement. Even the title is not mine. Wow. That's like news to me.

Summary: When he least expected it, a figure from Kisame's past steps into his world once more; this time, not to make things right, but to put an end to them. Companion piece to Dancing on the Corpses' Ashes. One shot.

N/A: This would be complete, utter, absolute pointlessness if you haven't read the prequel. Then again, it's up to you.

Also, it's important to add, I've written this on a very short notice so I would apologize in advance for the errors.

* * *

It was a light just in the nick of time, so blinding that it must never have existed at all. One giant beam was all it took to wipe away a whole settlement; one flick of the finger was the one deciding factor of it all. And for years uncounted, the memory has succeeded in convincing me that I died along with everything it swept. In actual fact, at times, I still walk dazedly, thinking that no one could see me, thinking that I am dead.

Indeed, death has never lingered about for so long; because in this steep world I move in now, the invulnerability of Kisame is a rule that no longer applies. Death is at my heels. Death is in my eyes, in my face, in the words I speak. It's no longer as vastly circumstantial as it was before, but simply a matter of short time before it catches up with me. It's so near that I could almost feel its cold breath on the back of my neck. It's so real, even realer than the fact that I was once someone who so easily cultivated fear in anyone, be it a high-ranking shinobi, a normal person, a monster.

And insofar as life after Akatsuki is concerned, I am not afraid of death. The world may shudder underneath my feet at its arrival, but not me; the world may dissolve before my eyes, still, I won't hide. I would welcome it like an old friend if needs be, because nothing is to be lost anymore. Gone are days when life was simpler (if you'd ever call serial murder simple); gone is everything Akatsuki stood for; gone is everyone—or that one person--I held dear. And there's no more need to probe at the truth; that in itself is the truth. I have put up with death more than anyone knows.

Here, hidden in part darkness, I am remembering for the last time the memories made possible by that partnership. Uchiha Itachi might as well be a product of my own mind. For all the present knows, he was never there. And this place, this rock cliff where the wind blows the coldest, this is the only place that suggests we once stood together, ready to face whatever danger had to offer. If only anyone cared to know, I would've told him that we were like a solid idea, Itachi and I; we were two inseparable halves of a principle; neither of us could've gone on and made sense without the other. That's what we were like.

Like a realistic apparition, he reappears to me. Yes, after nearly seven years. I must admit that I thought I was in another bout of dreaming, or else I've been wishing for him to come back to me so many times now that it has quite become the reality surrounding me. At first sight, of course, it was impossible to guess if I have gone half out of my mind. When he spoke, I knew, I just knew, that somebody up there must've heard my prayers.

"Uchiha…you're back." Was all I could manage to say. I've noted that something in him has been changed, instantly or gradually. The ability to frighten seems gone and the fight… the fight has altogether departed from him.

"I am back. But I was never really lost. I kept on looking for you, Kisame."

"I never meant for you to."

"You didn't; you told me to run. I understand that you wanted to make a sacrifice so I could live on, alone. But time… time ran out on me and I needed to find you if only to know."

"Yes, to know. You needed to know so as not to lose faith." I finish the sentence for him.

"You never gave me any reason to go on believing. All along I thought they've killed you."

I smirk. "Who says I'm capable of dying?"

"I was so convinced you were dead until rumor went around. I've carried the thought of your death with me, for so many years. You never did anything to allay that."

"Would 'sorry' do for a start?"

He shakes his head. "You are a constant lament to me, Kisame; when I lost you, there was no hope in sight anymore." Itachi halts, blinking back visible tears. "Let me ask you a question; did you, all this time, even try to find me?"

"It wouldn't have been wise."

"By that, do you mean to say that this reunion shouldn't have happened in the first place? Why do you have to sound as though you asked me to leave just so you could hurt me?"

"I'm glad you found me. Let's leave it at that."

Itachi lets out a low snicker. "To be quite honest, I could never be sure of your death for so long a time. Somehow, in some odd ways, I knew I'd see you again, if not in this world, then in the next. There were times when I thought you were just around the corner; maybe it was you, maybe it wasn't. But what else was I supposed to think? I only had your word for it."

Silence persists, touching each corner of this blackened, surreal dimension.

"Itachi, do you expect me to feel the same after that nightmare? Did it ever occur to you that I practically died that night?"

"Even if you did, you'd still survive, if only in my mind."

"Then you are wrong. What happened, happened. This…now, you and I, this shouldn't even be happening. You see, I needed to die that night and if death wasn't painful enough, then I should've evaporated and---"

"And to tilt away from life and hurt forever?"

"And hurt forever."

"Kisame, we could rebuild everything from here, pick up from where we left off. You and I, like old times, only more peaceful, less pain. Chance hasn't completely vanished."

"Chance has gone as abruptly as it came. That's exactly what you fail to understand." I look at him square in the face. "Itachi, you came here in some wild hope of seeing me again. If you look at those six years we spent apart, if you even bothered to look closely, you'd learn that you spent them _without_ me. You've done it once, you can do it again. For all you know you could live forever with my absence."

"So you're saying that we should again go our different ways, like nothing happened?" he mumbles. His eyes, I realize, have noticeably lost their spark and beyond them, all I can see is a man who can't stop feeling sorry for himself.

"Not like nothing happened. This meeting is a confirmation from both of us. You've been looking for me all along out of a guilty conscience; all you ever needed to do was to know that I survived, nothing more, nothing less. It's the only thing that would release you from this spell. And now, here I am, very much alive. This is the end of the road for you and I."

"Kisame, I wasn't looking for you just to know that you're still breathing. I looked for you to be able to live again."

I smile at him. The portion of the sky above us has turned orange. The strange thing about it is its lucidness; that portion of the sky never was clear the years prior.

"Ah, to live again. I was as close to living again as I ever hoped to get to heaven. I'm done with trying to live my life again, Itachi. If you have yours to live, try starting now. As for me, I'll keep you here, that I can promise you." I clutch the left section of my chest. "I'm pretty sure you can't live with a dead man now, not when things have settled themselves for you. All you have to do is open your eyes, look deeper inside yourself and know, know that the 'we' you've come to know and love live only in memories. And in memories, we've never been any happier or more alive."

I traipse away from where he stands, not daring to get a view of his face once more. Perhaps I'm afraid to witness tears; perhaps because I want more than just his weeping face to immortalize in my mind. Perhaps both. In any event, now that this hide-and-seek drama has already found its resolution, I can rest in tranquility. Nothing can hurt me now, not when we've both accepted the end this tragedy has been for so long trying to find. In all the years I have to further spend alone, none could ever be as beautiful, and as vivid, as that last moment we shared under those orange skies. The only thing missing is for me to be happy again.

END

N/A: well, that was incoherent. What I'm really trying to say during the whole course of the fic is that, so many things have changed between Itachi and Kisame that it would only do more harm than good had they decided to live together again. It's some kind of penitence for—I don't know—doing criminal things back in the past, although I doubt if, judging by their characters, either would be willing to admit it. Kisame, of course, appeared as the wiser person. His idea of resolving things might not be too reasonable but, it should be considered, that he didn't have any choice. Or at least, that's how I wanted his destiny to unfold, in a very cruel way. Itachi, on the other hand, shall have a sense of renewal. Otherwise, well, what Kisame so whole-heartedly imparted to him would be of no purpose. Destiny is harsh to him too, naturally.

For everything I left out---bad characterization, illogical turn of events, dialogues---it only goes to show how much I don't know. Thank you all for reading. Fanfiction dot net rocks, still.


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